The Invoicer: Dating Stories
by Kiki Mara
I often struggle with Singledom and feel the societal pressures to find my “other half.” However, when I ponder about some of the relationships I had; a.k.a. “the bullets I dodged”, I managed to feel better and be somewhat glad to be single after all.
Just when I thought I had seen it all. I met my last boyfriend ( I use the word loosely ) at a friend's engagement party. He was handsome, forthcoming and very interesting. It all started so wonderfully. For our first date he took me to a French bistro, we noshed on filet mignon, wine and cheese and he gallantly paid for the bill. It was a picture perfect scene of being wined and dined. I, of course, paid for after dinner drinks; I am an independent woman after all.
One month into the relationship he started to insist that we split our dating bills in half - and I don't mean roundabout half - “you pay for the movie and I pay for the popcorn” sort of thing - he meant business, he asked me to pay 50 cents of every dollar that was spent when we were together. And he did so by sending me invoices - he would itemize all of our “dating” expenses like airfare ( he lived in the US ), hotel, meals, taxis, drinks and even parking (wtf!). He would quiz me which USD vs CAD exchange rate I used ( I’m in the financial industry ) and then ask me to transfer the funds to his account.
He even invoiced me once for $2.50 for my half of the contact lens solution from Walmart…with a straight face mind you!
What made matters worse was that he insisted that we live the life of the rich and famous. He booked us to go to Michelin star restaurants, drink the best champagne and go on widely expensive vacations. The clincher was - he wanted to be seen as Mr. Chivalry at these places. He would make a scene of pulling out his AMEX (that he shares with his friends to avoid the hefty annual fee),paying onsite for everyone to see. After we’d arrive home, he would tell me exactly how much I owed him and ask me to wire the funds to him.
I confronted him about his behavior - I told him that it is unacceptable to take me to Michelin star restaurants that he is unable to pay for unless I footed half the bill. He thought I was being ludicrous.
Now ladies, don’t let anyone make you feel bad for feeling wronged by a cheap man. There will be those that tell you that you are being materialistic, and petty, that you’re a strong, modern woman who makes your own money, you don’t need a man to pay for you and so on and so forth. Well, it does matter. Imagine a lifetime of this; every time you drink milk out of the fridge, he is probably getting ready to invoice you by the gulp.
Ok I think I have said enough, you all get my point. Stay away from the ridiculously frugal types a.k.a cheapskates ..as it won't be till death do you part...but rather you might still be receiving invoices on your deathbed.
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